Awakenings

Though she hasn't confessed to either scenario, here's what I think happened:

1) Either Saralyn wanted to get all the press involved with having the "First Baby of 2009."

OR

2) This was all an elaborate test run of Rapid Response Team Ewald.

In either case, we had our first unscheduled, unexpected trip to the hospital for our New Year's Day celebration. To make a very long story short: After a day of being monitored in the hospital, everybody is safe, healthy, happy, and still awaiting our scheduled due date with a newfound readiness. RRTE is ready and waiting—Bring it on, life!

Happy Holidays

10 Things I Didn't Know I Didn't Know

So everybody tells you all sorts of stuff about having babies and things; however, I've started noticing the real hole in the man market as far as having babies goes. It was on the two hour, six-mile drive to work (thank you Portland ice-drivers) that I decided to embark on a truth journey with you, the faithful readers of our sometimes blog—From a man perspective. What that in mind, I thought it wise to start tellin' it like it is. This evening: 10 Things I Didn't Know I Didn't Know—By David Ewald (parts 10-6).

10) They Will Bring You Shame
When you go to a class to learn all about latching, pumping and 'the let-down' - they will hand you a plastic baby. Unlike the animatronic ones on the TV, these babies don't fuss and pee on you; rather, they are very sterile, plastic representations your little baby-to-be. What was so unexpected, and frankly difficult, was removing our baby from "the football hold" and seeing a permanent, molded look of disgust peering back at us. As opposed to the other, happier babies, we got stuck with the angry babydoll. And while this made absolute sense to us (see also: lottery tickets, carnival games, every sport), we couldn't let go of the thought that we were being punished.

Perhaps it says more about us, but it was difficult to shake the guilt that somehow, someway, with the beady little glance back at us - we had failed this toy - and by extension our baby. His eyes reminded us how little we knew and of the heavy, hungry price he would have to pay as a result.

9) What They Mean by Miracle
I know I'm a pig, or a dog, and perhaps heretic for even considering this; but I think there's a marketing scheme going on here. There's something natural, beautiful and gaussian-blurry about breastfeeding your baby. While I'm pretty far outside the target market for all this stuff, I think what they mean is that we're lucky to be human. And for me, it's less about engorging, nipple confusion and colostrum, but more about opposable thumbs and advanced brain function. We're the only animal in the world to invent the Avent© Isis Duo Twin Electric Breast Pump and LilyPadz© Non-Absorbent Nursing Pads. Don't get me wrong, I see the beauty in all the nature things; but the real soft-focused miracle is in our ability to invent stuff to market and sell to make it all naturally better for you, and most importantly your baby.

8) What They Mean by Friends
We're at an age where circles of friends naturally expand during things like Breast Feeding Basics courses. And while I think we both really want to find new friends in our adopted home of Portland, things keep getting in the way. In our case, it was the oddly paired old man, younger lady couple next to us with the plastic Asian baby. During the question & answer period of the thing, the ONE question she asked (out of all the many possible things associated with helping your baby survive in this world): "Umm yes...Will my cats try to drink my breast milk?"

7) They Will Pull at Your Heartstrings
No matter what, they will always have at least one slide, trifold brochure, flyer or web banner with a baby in sunglasses. It will always work, and we will always buy or do whatever they are telling us. Always.

6) You Will Have Many Wrong Turns
There's just no way around it, you're going to come up with some questionable names. Fight through it - you'll arrive at the real ones. My favorites from the names left behind - Bones, Kirk, Boozy, Collisus, Jax, Lilwayne, Kip and Grandma. Apologies ahead of time if those names were on your hopeful list. We passed all of them up.

Life Lesson #215

Statute of limitations.

We stumbled across some pretty darn good news. So good, in fact, that we spent several months in a state of disbelief, worried that if we breathed wrong the good news might blow away. A few months passed and we finally felt safe enough to come out of hiding. But what were we to do with the good news?

Shouting from the mountaintops requires both hiking and shouting, two things these Ewalds don't really do. A simple, "hey. psst. we have good news.", just seemed too plain. So we sat. and deliberated. started a blog post, then two. and the good news continued to grow.

Turns out there's a statute of limitations when it comes to sharing good news. Hold onto it too long and eventually you feel like a real jerk.

So here it is, neither shouted nor whispered, and just a few months too late...

Our little family is growing by one. Our very own baby is expected to makes its debut in mid-February.

Luckily, good news remains good no matter how late it may be.

Growing Pains

Well, I've really fallen off the wagon. Though I've peppered our blog with a rare post here or there, the only communication I've had with...whoever you are...in the past few months has been in the form of dog videos. Apologies on that front.

Tonight I wanted to let you know that there are very few things in life that can accurately prepare you for the complete devastation that results from a simple (though strangely expensive) growth removal followed by an unfortunately shaped plastic hood. Let me be the first Ewald to tell you - it really is something.

Our brave beagle, and as you know star of many films, had a small surgery today on her left eye. The remainder of her, and our, day has been spent relearning things like: Walking, smelling, drinking water, and laying down. And I'm sure some of you can appreciate the mix of feelings here: You feel terrible for a loved one's pain; though you can't help but chuckle just a little in the awkwardness (and to be fair, the plastic itch shield is pretty damn funny).

Many of you know that I have a knack for talking to kids. For those who don't, I'm the type of guy who encounters a 4-year-old playing with chalk at her parents barn doubling as an antiques shop. She, in little kid voice, says "Hiiiii..." My natural, unfortunately true and automatic response: "Nice weather we're having eh?"—A response I've justifiably yet to live down.

When a 4-year-oldish girl playing in the park saw Patsy this evening, she rushed over to investigate the hooded beagle. Her empty look begged for further explanation from the adult (me). Now, I'm one who learns lessons in life. Where previous girls may have gotten the small talk, this innocent, inquisitive person was met with a "Eh - what the hell can you do" shrug of my shoulders.

It was the first time that I ever wanted a cigarette for effect.

It could have been perfect: The dirty white t-shirt; the long, slow drag; dismissive exhale; and walking the hooded dog back into my house. I could have redeemed my nice weather with life's a bitch. I could have gone out in style as that creepy 32-year-old slightly bearded, yet still reclinerless neighbor. . .

Some dreams come true, and some don't. In the short term, tonight our brave beaglegirl dreams of the day she will be free again. That day will someday come. And I promise to be on this bloggin' wagon to tell you all about it.

Gone Oregonian

Who are those handsome glasses-less mugs?

2 of 2 Ewalds are officially licensed to drive in the state of Oregon. Given it required the passing of a driver's knowledge test, it was no small feat. Fail and you must also take a behind-the-wheel. Considering I still can't parallel park (25% success rate?), failure was not an option.

In celebration of our Class C accomplishments, here are a few helpful reminders from the Oregon Department of Motor Vehicles:

- "Driving is not a time to solve business or family problems."

- "Never shoot a gun or discharge a bow and arrow on or across a highway."

- "If you encounter an aggressive driver... put your pride in the back seat. It's a battle with no winners. Wear your seat belt, avoid eye contact, ignore gestures, and refuse to return them."

Sunday

Yep.